ye,cik. apa boleh saya bantu?

ni la dialog yang selalu kita dengar bila masuk kedai. especially kedai yang ada "STANDARD". konon. HAH!

bila kita senyum dan cakap its okay, buat jelingan pula kan. terbalik biji mata tu. tinggal putih lagi. lain kali practice! buat dua kali pusing. satu kali pusing mana cukup! KENCANG lagi.

lepas tu, bila kita jalan round2 kedai, sanaaaa la juga kau menempel. ergh. bila kita dah belek barang dekat rak tu kita letak balik, mata tu buat lagi putaran somersault. BAGUS BAGUS. kalah the rock. kau ingat barang kualiti china harga mahal mcm taik idung micheal jackson kena jual dekat e-Bay ada orang mau beli? bukan semua barang kualiti china buruk okay.tp mostly yes.

next stop, promoter2 cantik dan pondan dan perasan hot di kedai mekup berjenama and perfume mahal. ah ni NI LA paling saya anti. dem. especially tu promoter pondan. perasan cantik. ugh. no offense but ni memang saya selalu kena. dem punya pundaen. tau la, orang kampung kan. siapaaa la saya ni. baju bukan la Zara mcm sorang tu *bila dah beli jeans Zara, satu dunia kau nak bagitau kan. opps!
tapi poket ada duit la kak (?) eh bro (?) okay confused jap.

hari tu saya masuk la ni satu kedai perfume. memang tujuan mau beli perfume. ingat suka sangat saya masuk kedai perfume? semua bercampur last2 mcm bau ketiak comel uncle teksi ari tu. dem. bole bedarah hidung. ada la satu promoter confused gender ni. make up tebal dari saya. tp x shave. okay hideous monster. then i was browsing through the DKNY sections. plan nak beli be delicious green apple (yes! my current perfume). i was touching and smelling the smell. and you all nak tau apa PONDAN tu cakap, " miss, are you buying? if NOT then please do not touch," and i was like..WD FISSSSH punya pondan. perempuan sebelah saya yang memang dressing macam model kau tak tegur kan.

adeyh. ni tebakar jap. lagi mata tu! MATA tu!!! MATA IKAN. tengok saya dari atas bawah. nasib x bawa kawan time tu. " why? do i look like a barbarian that do not know how to handle things? OR do i look plain poor?" yes! and that is exactly what i said to that fucking promoter. he / she whatever this the creature is look like.'eskiuuuuuus me?"
" tak.. saya cakap, saya ni nampak kolot sangat ke? macam xde duit?" HAH! jawab kau. JAWAB.
" em. tak, tak. tu bukan maksud saye."
"tak pe la. tapi begini ke korang kene layan customer. no wonder la kedai ni tak banyak customer," HAH! serve you right freak. okay. and then saya keluar dari kedai. perlu ka saya begaya macam model runaway baru nampak berduit. dem.

FYI, kau tu promoter. tau tak kerja promoter tu apa? PROMOTE BARANG. bukan halau customer. one more thing, if you want to speak English in the first place, then LEARN. do not simple ingat apa you have to say. see? memalukan you company or kedai or whatever it is. duh~

saya pakai short pakai simple t. bukan tiada duit. kau ingat orang pakai baju branded, nampak baru keluar dari model runaway tu semua ada duit? HUH. tu salah beb. TU SALAH. prinsip hidup maybe: BIAR MISKIN ASAL BERGAYA MACAM ORANG KAYA. dem. see?? i said it. bergaya = berduit is not the same mr PONDS.

satu lagi type saya x suka. ikut kau pergi semua tempat. tau ka privacy membeli tu apa? kalau ya pun mau jaga dari barang kena curi, at least 5 meter, 5 FREAKING METER away from the customer.

another type of pekerja kedai that we should be aware of is.. they bad talk the customer. okay, saya pernah kerja as cashier? see. i am not spoilt! hoho~ so i was a cashier dekat lingerie punya section. so one fine day, datang la satu orang perempuan looking for bra. i don't deny the size of the bra she might be looking for might not be available because it looks like she need a life support for her twin. can you imagine the size?

so, one of my co-worker call her friend. you know what they say? "astagaaaaaa. memang x payah la pakai bra tu. besar gilaaaaa." dengan slang pekat SABAH.
"tu la, mcm mau terjatuh. kalau dia jalan, begegar, jo." i was like. punyaaa ni perempuan. kau cakap breast orang besar, breast kau tu ko fikir perfect? it is PUNY. like NONE.
"pakai tempurung kelapa ja la.."
and they were laughing like hyena.

and no, i don't join them. it was mean. considering "mine" is not that small. HAHA.

so the moral of the story is, jangan beli bra. beli underwear.
ok babai! i need to study.